According to Reddit user TheTeleIsStillOn, he encountered a life-changing experience five weeks into his Basic Military Training.
While on a bus to the rifle range for his first live firing, our protagonist – let’s call him “Joe” – felt a little grumbling in his tummy. Failing to heed the call of his sergeant, who had urged everyone to take at toilet trip prior to getting on the bus, he knew he was in for a rough ride.
Describing the bus ride as a “highway to hell” and a “spiral to Nirvana”, Joe alerts his sergeant to his call from nature, requesting for a stopover to release his inner Kraken – or what he describes as “Satan’s child”.
Despite numerous requests and begging, his sergeant and the supervising officer refuses to give in, telling him to “hold it in”.
Joe had no choice but to weigh-out the following options.
25 minutes on the highway to hell: I’ve started to contemplate my options:
A. Release Satan’s child into my helmet
B. Relieve myself casually like a f**kin’ 3yo
C. Release the Kraken into a ziploc bag which kept the contents of another platoon mate’s soldierly tools
After sharing his options with his sergeant, Joe decides that the best course of action would be to take option C at the staircase in front of the backdoor of the bus.
As though things weren’t bad enough, the bus driver decided it was a good idea to open the backdoor to release some of the foul stench while Joe was still in the midst of answering the “call of duty”.
It was at this point that Joe noticed a van drive by with passengers who had “shocked faces from watching a bare-assed soldier in his uniform take a dump in a ziploc bag”.
Let’s just let that sink in for a bit. Actual civilians witnessed a uniformed soldier take a poop into a ziploc bag at the back of a moving bus.
Given that most Singaporean car owners affix front-facing cameras on their windscreens, we’re willing to bet top dollar that there is footage of the indecent incident.
All in all, kudos to “Joe” for seeing the humour it in all and mustering the courage to share his story on Reddit for all the Internet to read.
Despite the initial embarrassment, it wasn’t all bad news for Private Stoolbus. According to his post, nothing spilled from the ziploc bag and he ended up scoring a 31 out of 32 at the rifle range. Good job, son!
For the full story, read it on Reddit here.